Search
  • Debbie Howell

Who the Boundary Really Deals With

“Remember that a boundary always deals with yourself, not the other person… Do not confuse boundaries with a new way to control a spouse.” (Boundaries p. 165)


This quote is key to evaluating our motives as to why we are trying to set healthy boundaries. The author goes on to say that setting boundaries is a way of giving up control and learning to love. In doing that we are allowing the other person to be responsible for their own behavior.


Any time we are driven to change another person or control their behavior we are not living by God’s laws of healthy boundaries. As I have begun to incorporate in my own life what I’m learning from the book “Boundaries”, I’ve been amazed at how quickly my relationships have changed from ones of frustration and stagnation to ones of freedom and growth. This happens when we stop trying to change others and instead look at our own choices and responsibilities. We cannot be responsible for other people’s behavior, but we can certainly own up to our own. Allowing God to orchestrate what we will and will not allow in our lives is giving Him full reign to lead us into relationships that honor Him and bless us.

0 views

Recent Posts

See All

How Do You Wait?

I work for a doctor's office and it's interesting to observe how people "wait" differently. Some people walk in the door already anxious, asking how long the appointment will take because they have so

Confess What God Has Promised

How do we bring Scriptures to life within us? There are many beautiful ways to spend time with God through His Word. One of my favorite is to take Scriptures and confess them over my life. For examp

Becoming a Testimony of His Grace

"Every day I need to make room for the Holy Spirit to speak to me in such a way that my life is a testimony of His grace." (A W Tozer) There is a deep and beautiful connection between the Holy Spirit

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Instagram