Responsible to, Not for
“It is important that she learns that you are not going to take responsibility for her wants. You’re going to give her as you choose, and she is responsible for the rest.” (Boundaries p. 162)
A big reason why it’s so important that we create healthy boundaries around our own lives is that sometimes people we are in relationship with can put unreasonable expectations on us. If we feel guilted or pressured into being responsible for another person’s happiness it will leave us frustrated and create an unhappy and unhealthy relationship. One of the biggest things I’ve learned in the book “Boundaries” is that we are responsible to others, but not forothers. If both people in the relationship understand and apply this principle it will be a huge step forward in creating healthy boundaries.
We have to remind ourselves often that we are not responsible for other people’s happiness just as they are not responsible for ours.