• Debbie Howell

Boundaries – From the Inside Out

“We need to have spaces inside ourselves where we can have a feeling, an impulse, or a desire, without acting it out.”  (Boundaries p 46)

This quote is such a powerful reminder of why we need to set healthy boundaries around our lives.  Without it we are left to live by our own impulses, reactions, and feelings.  Been there, done that.  Looking for a way out, thank you very much.

Because a boundary is not a wall, it enables us to still be in touch with our feelings, but learning how to handle them is key.  When we feel like life is out of control we lash out to control the people and circumstances around us.  When that doesn’t work (because it never does) we may build walls around ourselves to protect ourselves from getting hurt again.  I am way too familiar with that process as well.

So what’s the alternative?  How do we own our feelings without letting them drive us to unhealthy behavior or reactions?  I believe that it all begins in our mindset.  The first step is to recognize what our thoughts are that lead us to negative action.  I’ll bet you that it’s a thought that’s played in your mind again and again over the years.  One that plays in our minds like a broken record at times.  I can also guarantee you that those thoughts are not of God.  His thoughts will lead us to actions of peace and attitudes of joy, even when life is out of our control.

It’s time for us to start casting down the wrong thoughts and replace them with God’s Word.  If I am battling fear today then I make the choice to look up those Scriptures on “fear” and speak them out over my own life.  If anger keeps getting the best of me then I look up the Scriptures on “anger” and put my name in them and focus on them instead of the thoughts raging in my mind.

It’s all about establishing the boundaries that God calls us to as laid out in His Word.

“We are demolishing arguments and ideas, every high-and-mighty philosophy that pits itself against the knowledge of the one true God.  We are taking prisoners of every thought, every emotion, and subduing them into obedience to the Anointed One.”     (2 Corinthians 10:5)

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